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Subtweets are as much a part of life in 2015 as brushing your teeth, taking a shower and drinking an artisanal, free trade cold brew. Every single day you're logged into Twitter Dot Com is another day for you to get subtweeted and the more popular you are, the more likely it is to happened. If it hasn't happened to you already, it will. You can bet the house on it.
Christmas Jeans True Religion, There is an art to the perfect subtweet. If done right, your subject will be left dazed and confused (no McConaughey), paranoid and wondering if your quick-witted, tongue-in-cheek retort was meant for them. They may never know the truth, but you will. You can revel in your ability to cut down a stranger who you may never meet and momentarily satisfy the bottomless black hole that is your heart.
I myself have never sent a subtweet. I have also never told a lie online. You may be wondering how I'm qualified to write this listicle. Fret not, my sweet child, for no one who writes on the Internet is qualified. But I do get paid $.01 per word to write in the Four Pins freelance dungeon and Lawrence demands his content, so here it is, the Four Pins guide to subtweeting.